My poor Grams is a wreck. She is convinced that my mom is stealing from her, and that the staff at her facility is stealing her cookies that came from our cousin in England. I've seen where she has stashed them, and I'm amazed she can find them to even say they are missing.
I missed a call from her while I was at work, and when I returned her call, she was loaded for bear. She stated that I am the 'biggest disappointment of her life'. That title is generally reserved for my Mom. Ordinarily, I am her 'Saving Grace.' or 'Lifesaver.' I have always toed the line between my Mom and Grams when it comes to my Grams being in a memory care facility. She is convinced that my mom has 'dumped her' to get control of her money. We have never told her how much it costs for her to stay there; it's nearly $4000.00 a month. She could have been 'dumped' anywhere that costs considerably less and further away from all of us. She is in the very best place in the entire Midwest. Today I was shunned for not attacking my Mom with her. After I clocked out, I went by to give her a hug, and she just cried about how I let her down. It's the disease. I've lost her to this - rotting of her brain. She didn't have a stroke and die, or a heart attack. She's as healthy as a horse, and she will die not knowing what is happening to her. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.
She has refused to eat tonight. Fine. She'll live. She told me she wants to die tonight. She states she will never eat again. The staff will put her in a hospital, and she will lose what's left of her dignity. I told her no matter where she ends up, I will always visit. The CNA there sort of told me these episodes are part of dealing with Alzheimer's. The staff had called the doctor on call to ask for a pill to calm her tonight. I guess she had a standing order for one, but since she never needed it, they did not renew the order. They were going to add the Ativan to her nightly pills as to not let her think they were going to drug her. That's another accusation she has from time to time. That the staff tries to medicate everyone to turn them in to zombies. She often points to other residents and tells me that they are over medicated.
Screw Alzheimer's! I want my Grams!
