Now is the time I'm wishing I had started taking the antidepressant that was prescribed over a week ago. I really don't know why I have been resisting, but I fear I'm nearing a breaking point. It's the same things, really. I hate wondering when the money for the next bag of dog food is coming from my tips, because we get so few cash tips, and the credit card tips are paid by check. I hate waiting two weeks to collect tips. I hate that my husband and I were getting along for a few days, and he turned nasty again tonight. I hate that I'm not surprised. I'm angry that I'm 41 and my time of the month is only getting worse over time. I mentioned this to the doctor during my last visit and she seemed to chuckle as she says that's usually what happens. I hate that I'm considering the Pill after all these years just to keep it under control. I hate that everything is making me cry these days, I can chalk some of it up to PMS, and some of it the stress of divorce looming, and my poor eating habits. I was expecting to start a new, second job this week, but that manager told me today that they're not ready to train me at this time. He's been blowing me off long enough. I have to start looking elsewhere to make more money, so I can get out of this basement. My brother and his family are absolutely awesome, there is no doubt about it. When my sister in law's mom was divorcing last year, she stayed here, too. The general divorce rule here now is a six month stay, according to the brother.
I love that I really wanted to come home after a busy night at work frustrated by a lack of cash, and an angry text from the husband, to work on a blog. I already perused Facebook, crying at a photo of a dog a rescue group saved today, and labored over what photo to attach to this post. I want this blog to be a little bit on the anonymous side, so I'm using photos I've found using on Google. My one follower knows who I am - and that's good for now. I asked to take the night off from work tomorrow to go watch a movie with my Grams; the home where she resides is showing one. The nurses have promised me candy, so I'm happy to attend. I adore spending time with her. I love her friends there, and am happy to chat them up, too.
I want to do start church again, I think. I was baptized and raised in the Methodist church, and there is one nearby; I can certainly try to attend again. Maybe I can do some volunteer work there. I'm certainly good for cupcakes for a bake sale. I used to love hanging with the little children at Vacation Bible School as a teen, and was in choir. Stay tuned on that one.
On an unrelated note, I couldn't help but chuckle that the owner of the Segway company seems to have accidentally driven his Segway off a cliff and died. Is that irony? Would he have lived if he hadn't bought the company?
I'm settling now that the cat is asleep next to me, and the dogs are snoring a few feet away. There's no place like home.
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